Friday, January 15, 2010

Charlie Sheen and Tigger Too

I have been having so much fun with Charlie Sheen's astrology that I decided to take a look at Tiger and Elin Woods Synastry.

But before I start, I want to mention here that I normally don't like to do "gossip astrology" but when it comes to Charlie and Tiger I feel that humor at their expense is actually doing a service for women. If reading my blog saves even one woman from getting abused by these horn dogs I will have done my job.

But the sad truth is that even if these ladies had gone to an astrologer and were told about the potential dangers they wouldn't listen. Once the hormones are turned on common sense automatically goes out the window. When these misguided beauties are reeled into a billion dollar life style there's no turning back until a hard Saturn transit comes along and all they find themselves left with is another black eye that they can cash in at divorce court. Although in Tiger's case he seemed to have gotten the other end of the nine iron as well as a soon to be spring cleaning of his bank account. Oh well!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting in judgment here, I'm just a humble astrologer who knows that as sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west that these folks never used astrology for compatibility or for setting their wedding dates. Oh well! That said, let's take a peek at Elin's planets and Tiger's planets and see what's up.

I will now begin the astrological quiz. You will know if you chose the right answer when you hear the poetry of Elizabeth Barrett Browning if you are wrong you will hear the urgent and shrill sound of a police siren so common to celebrities these days.

Elin's Uranus conjunct Tiger's Venus
a) turns Tiger on - then off - then on - then off.
b) encourages monogamy.

Elin's Venus square Tiger's Uranus
a) encourages monogamy.
b) turns Elin on - then off - then on - then off.

Elin's Mars square Tiger's Mars tend to
a) piss them both off
b) encourage patience and harmony.

Elin's Saturn squaring Tiger's Moon makes Tiger
a) happy.
b) depressed.

Elin's nit picking Mars in Virgo will
a) piss Tiger off.
b) sooth and calm Tiger's nerves.

Elin's Sun in Capricorn conjuncting Tiger's Sun in Capricorn makes both of them
a) complete opposites.
b) honorary attorneys.

It should be interesting to see how our horny Capricorn golf champ will handle the karmic wrath of a woman scorned. Time will tell.


Debra Clement said...

He'll handle it like a sore loser, that's how!


I think you are absolutely right!