PLUTO ALERT

Just like the rest of us Pluto has a job to do and has decided that a Monday would be as good day a day as any to kick the butts of everybody born born around the following dates:

August 31st and September 1st
November 30th and December 1st
February 26th and February 27th
May 29th and May 30th

His reputation for deriving sadistic pleasure out of watching us mortals twist in the wind is legendary. Remember Pluto exists for the sole purpose of getting rid of things that have outlived their usefulness. This process isn't easy but Pluto is the Tony Soprano of the zodiac and won't let you forget who's boss or that it is clean-up time. He doesn't just pull up into your driveway one day without warning. You've been noticing him lurking around for a while now. Here are a few signals that he's in your neighborhood:

• You're beginning to feel like your boss is the Roto Rooter man and you are his current project.

• You begin to obsess over the guy/gal you met three weeks ago who said he/she would call you...and didn't.

• Everybody you know is a control freak except you.

• Trying to find things in your closet it tantamount to the search for Osama Bin Ladin

• You've finally decided to have that dreaded colonoscopy

• Plastic surgery is looking like the only alternative.

• Your office is down to twelve employees from last weeks twenty four.

• You are glad today is Monday and you can get away from your significant other for eight relaxing hours.
  

These quick and short term transits are hitting the United States Midheaven, indicating that people born on the above dates will feel a personal connection to what the United States is experiencing and shouldn't cause anybody to need a remedy stronger than an Advil for more than twenty four hours.